I think back and try to narrow out “ One thing I learned”, “ one moment that stood out to me the most. But I can’t the whole trip was full of moments, I learned more in those 10 days than I think I ever thought I could ever learn. I had to deal with normal emotions of humans. The questions “ Why God do you allow them to go through this?” “ You can save them in less than a minute, why don’t you?” “ Why can’t we just take them all home with us, we have more than they could ever imagine.” “ why them?” Why not me?”….
But it all became clear to me one night after a long day at the carepoint. Not being able to eat in 4 days because of severe food poisoning and bacterial infection, Weak, Tired. All I could think about was getting outside to pray. I felt like I was on brain and emotional overload. I went outside and turned on my IPOD and begin worshipping and praying. I got angry, I begin saying these questions outloud, ANGER rose in my heart. Then I begin weeping and I fell on my knee’s, I felt like I heard Gods voice so soft and clearly saying.
“ They are here for a reason. Nothing I do is just for fun Hannah. They have an impact to make , just like you do wherever you live. I love them just as much as I love you. I care about them just as much as I care about you. I have had mercy on them, the people you’ve seen have been alive, they have a storie to tell.
You aren’t the author and finisher of their story , I AM! LOVE THEM LIKE I DO, DON’T WORRY ABOUT TRYING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING, You cant. But you can bring my love to them and then they will be able to share that with everyone around them.” I just cried as I listened to his voice and then it all became clear.
The work in Africa was going on way before I went there and will continue way after I leave. But we all have a roll to play, We have to do our part and leave the rest of it up to God. He is WELL able!
